You know what it means to set a boundary. In fact you have tried it many times. It’s hard to do. It’s easier to set a boundary when you do it with love. That is how I came up with Loving Limits!
When you don’t set limits you aren’t totally truthful. You are in a pleasing place sacrificing the stability of your relationship. Let’s say your client is in an emotionally needy place. He or she is constantly calling because they crave connection.
At some point your need to take care of yourself will take over. You will stop protecting them and set that scary limit. Coming from a caring place makes it easier. It still takes courage to do or say something you know the other person won’t like.
Six Steps for Setting A Loving Limit
- Acknowledge that you feel bad. Pay attention to your body and voice.
- Start with a loving statement. I care about you or you are important to me.
- Simply state what’s not okay with you. (Receiving so many phone calls)
- Make space for a moment of silence. The power of the pause!
- Let them know what will work better for you. (A monthly call)
- Show that you care and acknowledge something you love about them.
Holding the boundary may be the hardest part. Don’t give in. Stay strong! When the needy client calls let it go to voice mail and don’t call them back. Send an email reminding them of the monthly call. They will stop calling. I promise!
In your personal and work life you have plenty of opportunities to practice setting “loving” limits. Use my six-step process for an effective way to enhance your relationships and life!
MarGO Geller, LCSW
Licensed Counselor and Life, Business, Career Coach
404-218-4559
marGOgeller@gmail.com
http://MargoGeller.com
Sign up on my website for “A Minute With MarGO” to receive my blog posts in your inbox.
