Do you know what you want or what would make you happier? Sounds like a simple question but for most it isn’t. There are many possibilities to consider. It’s important to be specific. It’s especially hard to know when you are down on yourself or depressed. Nothing will feel quite right.
When looking for a new job or relationship if you aren’t clear about what you want then I suggest not looking yet! Getting clear and staying clear are challenging and can’t be bypassed. With greater clarity comes more motivation to manage your disappointments and stay determined to have what you want.
There are Three Main Reasons why your genuine desires get obscured.
- Believing you can’t achieve your goal or have what you want. You avoid pursuing something you are scared you aren’t capable of having. It’s hard to firmly say what you want for fear you will fail to get it. Nobody wants to feel like a failure.
- Once a decision is made you rationalize and decide it’s “good enough.” If a job promotion or marriage proposal happens you convince yourself the job or relationship is better suited for you than it is. You’re motivation to go for what you really want wanes. Not good for happier!
- When your freedom is restricted you might want something just because you can’t have it. The guy wants the girl or vice versa that they can’t have. Or a coveted job opens up (not a good fit for you) and you take it because that’s what’s expected. More set ups for feeling bad or unhappy.
As a Professional Counselor, Career and Dating Coach I help clients understand why they don’t have what they want. It’s important to explore the emotional obstacles (fears) that get in your way. Setting realistic expectations and feeling good about yourself is essential. Doing something that makes you uncomfortable starts an upward climb towards getting to your goal.
Before you begin searching create Ideal Profiles for a Job, Employer, Mate, Partner… Now you can go through the clothes (potential interviews or dates) on the rack a lot faster. There is less frustration as you aren’t wasting time trying on something that won’t fit well.
Get what you want by taking the time to figure out what it is. Write it down and review frequently. If you need some help please reach out. First step is scheduling a complimentary “are we a good fit” call.
Happy Holidays!
MarGO!
Professional Counselor, Career and Dating Coach
Text: 404-218-4559
Email: MargoGeller@Gmail.com
www.MargoGeller.com
