You say you can’t and yet you know you can. What does it take to say something you are afraid to say? Do you believe the better person doesn’t get upset and if they do they pretend they aren’t. I hope you agree that this sounds awful and certainly not authentic. It makes it impossible to have truly satisfying relationships.
The biggest problem with not saying what you are afraid to say is that it backfires and You are the one who continues to feel bad. You hide your feelings or keep a secret out of fear and then it starts to eat you up! It’s easy to get that it’s not worth it and yet you still do it.
The question is WHY?
It’s human nature to avoid discomfort or conflict. You hope something magical will happen to minimize or eliminate the need to say something that’s scary to say. Life and relationships don’t work that way. Speaking up is essential for having healthy relationships and less stress.
How do you Become Better at Saying What You Are Afraid to Say?
By Increasing Your…
- Desire to do what is hard to do or push past your fears.
- Awareness of uncomfortable thoughts, tension (body) and feelings
- Confidence in your coping skills and inner strength
- Dedication to your highest values and being your best self
- Commitment to reach out for emotional support from friends or a professional
What happens when you go ahead and say what’s hard to say?
- You are proud of yourself. You did it!
- You feel happier and free from your suffering
- Your body is less tense (there is a sense of lightness or lack of tension)
- Your connection to yourself is stronger.
- You are more motivated to do it again!
It takes acknowledging your true feelings, self-confidence, and some courage (and support) to say what’s scary to say. By using “I” statements such as “I feel (a negative feeling) when…” This sets the other person up to respond from a caring place. You aren’t attacking or accusing, just expressing. You want understanding and nurturing not a defensive response.
I can attest to the incredible benefits of saying what’s hard to say. It never fails to make me feel better.
My last piece of advice… Take a few slow deep breaths and then just do it!!
MarGO!
Professional Counselor, Business, Career and Life Coach
404-218-4559
MargoGeller@Gmail.com
www.MargoGeller.com
