People say… Sure, that’s fine! No problem! You are right! Do you trust them? You shouldn’t! How about you? Do you ever Go Along to Get Along? I bet you do. You believe it is necessary for being liked or loved. If you don’t you will lose your job or friend. Problem is it has the opposite effect.
Let’s say you are talking to a customer, client or co-worker. They are upset. Their tone sounds a bit blaming. You notice your body begin to tighten. The fear response has started. At this point you are at risk of accepting their unreasonable request. Something like “Sure, not a problem, I will take care of that right away!”
You have just Gone Along to Get Along. A natural human response and a bad one! It may work for a while, but soon you feel resentful, they feel your resentment and bad goes to worse! The good news is you have other options AND they aren’t that hard to do. A little practice and you are on your way J
How to “Fairly Easily” NOT Go Along to Get Along
- Understand the importance of loving yourself and the impact of putting other’s needs or desires above your own.
- Know your highest priorities so you can stay committed to them.
- Get clear and speak up soon! Be fast and firm! And always loving!
- Tell them why you can’t fulfill their request. Come from a caring place. Explain that your sick spouse or urgent deadline has to come first.
- Make a counter offer. Suggest another date to get together or time to talk.
As I have said many times… A great life is “All about relationships, all about love and it starts with YOU!” Be good to you and good things will happen in all areas of your life. It’s not necessarily easy to do. Cut yourself some slack and start with one simple No!
MarGO Geller, LCSW
Licensed Counselor and Business, Career, Life Coach
404-218-4559
MarGO@MargoGeller.com
http://MargoGeller.com
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