Asking for feedback is a fabulous personal growth tool. It’s helped me grow both personally and professionally. As a counselor and life coach it’s part of my process. It’s a habit! In my personal relationships I’ve been less diligent about feedback. Working on this blog has prompted me to ask more often. It’s been good, but now I have a lot to work on!
Most people shy away from feedback either because they fear criticism or assume they already know what the other person thinks. I’ve learned that I may be right and yet there is always more. In terms of fearing criticism or feeling bad I ask them to start with what they like or first give me a couple compliments 😊
Asking for feedback needs to be done the right way. It needs to be mutual for the benefit of the relationship. Next it’s their turn to ask you. I see it as giving each other a gift. That is if it’s done properly. You don’t want to put someone on the spot. First see if they want to do it and when is a good time.
How to ask for feedback the right way
- Be Specific. Don’t just ask, “Do you have any feedback for me?” Instead ask about a specific behavior or interaction. An easy question is “ How am I doing? What can I do better?”
- Be Open-Minded. Listen without interrupting, defending, or explaining. Take time to reflect and ask clarifying questions. Absolutely avoid having to be right.
- Show Appreciation. Thank them for being honest, even if the feedback is hard to hear.
- Take Action. Don’t just collect feedback, use it. Small changes based on feedback show others that their input matters. Your relationship with them is very valuable.
*An important note: not all feedback is accurate or useful. People give feedback through the lens of their own experiences and biases. Be sure to reflect on what resonates, what patterns you notice, and what aligns with your values.
Feedback is a gift, but that doesn’t mean you have to use it or even keep it. That’s true for both of you.
Asking for feedback and making it something you do regularly (like a habit) is the best relationship enhancement tool.
MarGO!
Margo Geller CSW, CRC
Professional Counselor
Business, Career and Personal Coach
404-218-4559
margogeller@gmail.com
MargoGeller.com
