The need for new friends has expanded exponentially. Post pandemic more people are feeling isolated and lonely. Finding friends isn’t easy. This blog is about in person (not virtual) friendships or friends you can hug!
Why is it harder than ever before to make friends? Who has an easier time making friends? What can you learn from them?
It’s harder because there are fewer opportunities to engage with people in person. Remote working has had a huge impact as well as the internet. Too many things can be done without leaving your house. Some examples are watching movies or series, taking an educational or exercise class, playing games online (bridge, chess, scrabble…) and shopping on Amazon!
Why You Have A Hard Time Making Friends:
- Talk too much or too little. Don’t ask enough questions to get to know someone.
- Hold back on sharing anything personal due to shyness or trust issues.
- Fear of being disappointed or rejected again. Haven’t healed from past pain.
- Believe costs are greater than the benefits. Too much time and effort. Not worth it.
- Get immersed in solo activities. Loner habits are hard to break.
- Feel frustrated and discouraged while looking so you give up.
- Don’t get emotional support. Suffer in silence.
You Make Friends By…
- Being motivated and determined to have them
- Looking for opportunities to help a “potential” friend
- Smiling and Doing What Makes You Feel Good or Happy!
- Actively listening, asking additional questions and staying engaged! Don’t space out.
- Finding ways to have Fun together and Laugh!
Specific Suggestions for What You Can Do
- Sign up for a sports (soccer, tennis, pickle ball, kickball…) team
- Take an in person class (art, musical instrument, yoga, dance, cooking, foreign language, Improv…)
- Join or start a group to do something you enjoy with others. Some examples are walking, running, biking, community gardening, discussing books, playing cards or music… Check out MeetUp.com.
- Take your dog to a dog park or your kids to a playground or pool. Talk to people!
- Join or go to your church, synagogue or spiritual center more often. Get involved. Volunteer!
Before you start looking create an Ideal Friend Profile. Think about shared values and commonalities of your favorite friends past and present. Use bullet points to list what you “must have” and what you would “like to have.” It will probably take some time. Be Patient. Enjoy the Process!
Struggling to make a friend or meet someone to date? Please text me to set up a time to talk!
It’s possible!
MarGO!
Professional Counselor, Career and Dating Coach
Text: 404-218-4559
Email: MargoGeller@Gmail.com
www.MargoGeller.com
